I’m saying “excuse me” but I mean “why the fuck are u and ur friends fucking standing in the middle of the hallway blocking everyone what the fuck u fucker”
the thing that really worked about harry, hermione, and ron was that they were all the uncomfortable third friend
bless j. k. rowling
I’m the type of girlfriend that when I see you at your worst I’ll fall in love with you even more.
I don’t friend zone people, I relationship zone them. You wanna be my friend? Too bad, we’re dating.
sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST
Why do men think women are angry just on their period?
I’m angry all the time. Get the fuck away from me
When I Lie To My Mom And She Finds Out:
When I Tell The Truth Straight Up :
sometimes i forget that dogs are animals descended from scary ass wild beasts that hunt and kill and shit like
my pug just farted so loud she scared herself and had to be cuddled until she stopped crying like how did this happen